Monday, May 23, 2011

Are you there Religion Its me the asshole.

This is not the normal blog post but oh well. I just felt compelled today. 

exothre:
 I swear, this is my final rapture joke.
rationalityrules:

it was bullshit then and still is.

it was bullshit then and still is.




theatheism:

Another contradiction revealed by philosopher dinosaur. LOL

This is totally genius. Its by Bill Maher If you get offended well then Go Fuck 
Yourself. 

If you're a Christian who supports killing your enemies and torture, you have to come up with a new name for yourself.

"Last week as I was explaining why I didn't feel at all guilty about Osama's targeted assassination I made some jokes about Christian hypocrisy and since then strangers have been coming up to me and forcing me to have the same conversation. So let me explain two things. One: I'm not Matthew McConaughey. He surfs a long board. And two: Capping thine enemy is not exactly what Jesus would do. It's what Suge Knight would do.

"For almost 2000 years Christians have been lawyering the Bible to try and figure out how 'love thy neighbor' can mean 'Hate thy neighbor' and how 'turn the other cheek' can mean 'Screw you. I'm buying space lasers.'

"Martin Luther King gets to call himself a Christian because he actually practiced loving his enemies. And Gandhi was so f@#$ing Christian he was Hindu. 

"But if you rejoice in revenge, torture and war -- hey that's why they call it the weekend -- you cannot say you're a follower of the guy who explicitly said, 'Love your enemies.' ...and, 'Do good to to those who hate you.' The next line isn't, 'And if that doesn't work send a titanium-fanged dog to rip his nuts off.'

"Jesus lays on that hippie stuff pretty thick. He has lines like, 'Do not repay evil with evil.' and, 'Do not take revenge on someone who wrongs you.' ...really. It's in that book you hold up when you scream at gay people.

"And not to put too fine a point on it, but non-violence was kind of Jesus' trademark. ...kind of his big thing. To not follow that part of it is like joining Green Peace and hating whales. 

I mean, there is interpreting and then there's just ignoring. It's just ignoring if you're for torture. ...as are more evangelicals than any other religion. You're supposed to look at that figure of Christ on the cross and think, 'How could a man suffer like that and forgive.' ...Not, 'Romans are pussy, he still has his eyes.' 

"If you go to a baptism and you hold the baby under until he starts talking, you're missing the message.

"...like apparently our President who says he gets scripture on his blackberry first thing every morning, but who said on 60 Minutes that anyone who would questioned that Bin Laden deserved assassination should quote: 'Have their head examined.' Hey Fox News, you missed a big headline: 'Obama Thinks Jesus Is Nuts!' To which I say, "Hallelujah" because my favorite new government program is surprising violent religious zealots in the middle of the night and shooting them in the face.

"Sorry, Head Start. You're number two now.

"But you see I can say that because I am a non-Christian. ....just like most Christians.

"Christians, I know. I'm sorry. I know you hate this and you want to square this circle but you cant. I'm not even judging you. I'm just saying logically, if you ignore every single thing Jesus commanded you to do you are not Christian. You're just auditing. You're not Christ's followers. You're just fans. And if you believe the Earth was given to you to kick ass on while gloating, you're not really a Christian. You're a Texan."

Bill Maher




Friday, May 20, 2011

The love of hate Pt.3

I have a feeling that I can go on forever and ever about all the stuff I hate.  This post is dedicated to slutty, skanky,ho bags.  I can not stand females who  are extremely shallow and are obsessed with their looks, weight, clothes, popular trends, and equally shallow and douche-bag males. Sluts do not have a real opinion about anything  that matters they are not cultured or interesting they are basically pointless except of course if you are looking to get laid or to catch the latest STD.  You can sometimes see a grouping of Slutty girl in one place who are down to fuck the living shit out of the first cock they see. Slutty girls are often the ones that think they are very sexy, but they usually are not at all anywhere close to being sexy, instead they are a fucking joke. typically have little or nothing to offer in terms of intellectual stimulation.



What the hell.....is that a chandelier in her belly button. 



This is basically a deformed mutant slut with one  boob looking like it got deflated. Sickness

Wow. Where do you even buy clothes like that. 

Did she get attacked by Wolverine.
[tacky.jpg]
I bet her parents are so proud of her. 
fashion fail - I Can Think of At Least 2 Things Faker Than That Smile
 Plastic prostitute.
fashion fail - Quack Quack!
If she smells dick, she's guilty as charged. Slut bag. 















Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The love of hate Pt.2

I think this can go on and on with all the things I hate.  I think most people are stupid, boring self-centered assholes. When I come across someone who has broken away from being a carbon copy, I am very impressed and I tend to make a new friend. I am sorry to say that I do not have many friends due to the fact that most people are lame.  
So let us begin. 
I hate men who are gym rats and drink protein drinks and talk about how much they can bench. Nobody gives a shit about your muscles and how the veins in your neck are always popping out and it looks like you are constantly straining to take a shit.  Is it really worth it to take steroids to look more buff but have a penis that is only 4 inches. The worse is when they wear super tight muscle shirts. 
No man should ever wear a muscle shirt unless you want people to know that you are a douche-bag. 


Funny Confession Ecard: Thanks to your rhinestone muscle tee for screaming douchebag loader then I ever could.
Men who wear rhinestone shirts/pants with any glitter, sequins or graphics of Snakes,wings,skulls,tigers,dragons, crosses, fire or any kind of ugly ass graphics on it needs to get a uppercunt- A closed fist punch in an upward, swinging motion that makes direct contact with the vagina.



How do you even have the decency to leave the house looking like a clown barfed all over you. 
When did men start looking like muscular women who spend time getting tanned and wearing more jewelery than Liberace and screaming out to the world that they are complete douche-bag tools. 
I hope for the sake of  being able to prove you are in fact a man, that you do not have a vagina under those bedazzled jeans.
 What ever happened to the  rugged, rough, manly-man? I can only hope that the manly man has not gone extinct.

Monday, May 16, 2011

The love of hate Pt. 1

I am and always will be a true pessimist. I have embraced this trait for so long now I think it makes me who I am . 
pessimist

1. A tendency to stress the negative or unfavorable or to take the gloomiest possible view.

2. The doctrine or belief that this is the worst of all possible worlds and that all things ultimately tend toward evil.

3. The doctrine or belief that the evil in the world outweighs the good.


I have always hated People, Places and Things.  I  have a negative creep attitude and I can be a asshole most of the time but I find comfort in keeping myself entertained at the expense of others. 

I would like to start with Fashion. I have so many asshole opinions about fashion I can barley contain myself.  Let us begin, Shall we. 

I hate Sneaker heels, This shoe needs to get an identity. You are either a heel or a sneaker. 
I do not understand why anyone would put this ugliness on their feet. 
I hate camouflage and if you are not in the Army then you should not wear it. I want to take a Shit in this shoe. 
The Stones Shoe in Camo - Women's Shoes By Ash Shoes

I hate Harem/Mc hammer pants. Why the hell would anyone wear this. 
Again if you are not a Genie or you're name is not Aladdin then do not wear these pants. 
Perhaps you are constantly taking shits in your pants, well then in that case you can disguise the giant crap lump by wearing these pants. 

Tanning is so gross.  What is wrong with natural skin color?  I am pale and I love it. 
I have no clue why someone would want to look like a umpa lumpa. and then in the future look like a nasty old leather bag.  How can you not know that you look like a orange clown.
eeww that is so sick. That kid probably wants to barf on her skin. She looks like a charbarbequed hot dog. 








Wednesday, May 11, 2011

New Age

I have been wearing long skirts lately and this has caused me to remember how beautiful Karma can be.

In High School I dressed differently than most kids. Being from a small town I was considered a weirdo. My small town only had one high school and that consisted of Hicks, Jock, Cheerleaders, foreigners and then the punk skater kids which I guess I feel into that category. I hated High school I loathed being there and most of all I hate people, also I hated my small town.  Everyday I would dream of running away to a far away magical place  where no people existed only mythical animals and midgets and dwarfs.
fairy fairies faeries fae forest trees Fairy of th eMystic Forest
©Judy MastrangeloFairy of the Mystic Forest©

One of my good friends lived walking distance from my house. Whenever I would walk anywhere it seemed like it was a crime. Everyone drives around and if you walk they stare at you like they have never seen a person taking a stroll before, well it didn't help that I had pink hair and a long skirt on. Maybe long skirts define someone as being a new age whore. Strange because I was not in the least bit wearing whorish attire. This is similar to what I was wearing.

She looks like a Whore!!!

 On a stroll to my friends house I turned onto the street where she lived and I hear a lady scream from her window "YOU FUCKING NEW AGE WHORE" I stopped to look around and I realized that this was coming from the corner house across the street.  This is a perfect example of why I hate people. First off what is a new age whore?  And what about New Age makes it whorish?  I was pissed and wished that I could  have kicked this lady's ass.

I had told my friend what happened and she told me that the same lady has yelled stuff at her before.
I dwelled on this for awhile and I was hoping that one day I could encounter this loser bitch, but that never happened. Something more like Karma happened and I was happy for the route karma took.
A few months later that crazy lady's house burned down. It was so strange and weird that after thinking and dwelling on evil things happening to this lady karma works it's magic.
I kinda felt like Carrie and I loved it.

 Maybe I really did have New Age powers

Todays lesson to be learned.  Don't be an asshole or karma will get you